Longing to Worship Him

Last night I was invited to a gathering of some singles from my church at someone’s home where live music was played. They sang many cover, popular songs, and I realized once again why I left the secular music industry. Those songs just don’t satisfy my hungry, needy heart.

I asked, “Could I just sing a hymn with the pianist?” The only one he knew without music was Amazing Grace. I sang all of the verses and could feel God’s love filling my heart to encourage me once again as His child. I sang another accapella, as the pianist followed along:

“As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart’s desire, and I long to worship You

You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone doth my Spirit yield
You alone are my heart’s desire
And I long to worship You…”

I could have cried as I sang it, because all night as the popular songs were played I thought of how only God can satisfy the deep, deep longings of my heart. I thought of all it has cost me to have the privilege of knowing Jesus as my Savior and Lord and having Him live in me. What an honor, but what a costly road in a world where the “prince of the power of the air” is my enemy, sending people to test me and derail me from all of the joy God has in store for me as I live CLOSE to Him. It is a never ending battle this side of heaven.

On the way back home last night, we discussed what the Bible says about “walking in the Spirit” vs. “walking in the flesh”. I said, “The Bible says that if anyone is ‘in the flesh’ he or she cannot please God. Satan is all about immorality, worldliness, and pride. Jesus is about purity and humility…and strength." I was surprised to hear about many “Christians” in the church group not living pure lives, as if they were not Christians at all. I said, “Well, only God knows who is authentic. I want to be. It is hard when you are determined to be authentic. But, He gives us the strength, and it is the only life for me.”

I returned home realizing that even in a crowd of Church-going-Christians, I can so easily feel lonely for a feeling only Jesus can give---a feeling of being understood for who I am on the inside and KNOWN and loved, GROWING in Jesus and the vitality of KNOWING God…IN HOLINESS.

“I beseech ye therefore brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a LIVING AND HOLY sacrifice, which is your SPIRITUAL FORM OF WORSHIP.” (Romans 12:1).

Every morning and every night I say, “Lord, take all of me from head to toe,” and He does. What a gift when God makes us aware that only Jesus can satisfy the longings of the heart. Not church socials.

(I have had a great time for over a week now listening to one sermon per day from Walter Martin. I long to worship the Lord daily in prayer and miss sitting at a table regularly in a public setting where I can have conversations with others about Jesus who don't know Him. I hope to find a spot for a new table here in Atlanta.)

ENJOYING a life close to Jesus in His Spirit and HIS strength,
Dwayna