Dying to Live, Surrendering to Win

After much time spent in traffic today, getting to the data recovery company for the last step of the process in recovering my contacts from my computer crash last Friday night, I arrived back home to relax in my recliner and listen to a sermon on CD for refreshment and a still moment. (We have had several new sermons donated to this ministry for our outreach locations recently, and I have enjoyed listening to them before making more copies). Today I decided to listen to "Take Up Your Cross."

I leaned back in the recliner and closed my eyes as I listened in my room with the sun shining on me through the window. I couldn't keep my eyes shut long. The sermon was all about "surrender."

Luke 9:23: "If anyone wishes to come after Me let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it."

As the pastor read those words of Jesus, he explained, "If anyone really wishes to live, he must first die. He must surrender. If your life is not going well, DIE more."

I got up and reached for my Bible, realizing this is the key to my whole entire life. It is the key to victory in every battle. It is the explanation for the brokenness I carry around with me inside--dying DAILY to really live.

I died to what others thought of me when I began this outreach in Venice Beach. As I have taken groups into cults to challenge teachers in front of a whole cultic gathering on the meaning of Truth, I have had to die. In God's love for me, I died when a team of us went to the Cornerstone youth camp a few years ago to hand out fact sheets we had written about why it is not okay to call God "Mother" according to the Bible to all of the Christians there. And, as the insults still abound about me via the Internet from the "Jesus People" as backlash... I still have to die.

When people come to my life and leave my life who are not from God, I have to die. My life can't be about what I want but what Jesus wants in order for me to truly live and for Him to live in me. I have such peace from the Prince of Peace inside my heart that no sorrow in pain can take away. Yet, this same Prince of Peace did not come to bring peace but a sword, as His Holy Spirit divides to the point of death.

"Do not think I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword...he who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it." Matthew 10:34-39

Tears fill my eyes as I realize that dying is what my life is all about. It is not about who I am on the outside but dying on the inside, time and time again, so Jesus can live through me. It is an honor to "die daily" and certainly a full time job. Of course, it requires a lot of humility. More than I could ever produce from a mere concept. I could not gain such humility from a "christ consciousness." Maybe that explains why I have yet to meet a New Ager who has the humility of Jesus. The charming "humility" of Satan is something different altogether, as it counterfeits the humility of Jesus Christ the Lord.

"And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore also God highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." Philippians 2:8-11

The speaker on the CD said, "I used to want to be closer to God, and I discovered I had to die more. I had to give up."

So, my life's prayer remains as foolishness to the world--to keep myself hidden with Christ in God, so that when Christ is revealed, I will be revealed with Him in glory. (Colossians 3:1-4).

So many things happen in my life I cannot understand. But one thing I know for certain. I have a God who fights my battles for me with no deceit found in Him, and He creates for me a safe place to surrender with all of my heart.

Here are lyrics for my new song, which I cannot put down. I pray that God will help me make it very tight before I start on the production next week with a new producer here in Atlanta. He told me about the musicians, and I have never worked with such famous musicians in all of my life. Grady, the producer, loved the song, and now I just need to keep working to make it the best it can be lyrically.

PLACE OF SURRENDER

Verse:

Liftin' a prayer for who you're meant to be
Endin' up where it's not all about me
Honored to know you in all your brokenness
And be feelin' the Father's love for you

Verse:

Extendin' mercy for where you've done me wrong
For I was hurting with you all along
Will you forgive me for sayin' things I've come to regret
At the notion of the Father's love for you

Chorus:

And I'll meet you at a place of surrender
Yeah I will hold you there forever
Where you are known and loved
And I'll pray you through the valley of surrender
Where your highest endeavor
Is to give up

Verse:

Where kindness parades us and weakness is strong
And you're still the greatest man I've known
Lest you go thinkin' you've lost all my respect in all your regrets
I still have a heart full of the Father's love for you

Chorus:

And I'll meet you in a place of surrender
Yeah I will hold you there forever
Where you are known and loved
And I'll pray you through the valley of surrender
Where your highest endeavor
Is to give up

Bridge:

An impressive package to hide a man so sad
A mere image like an airbrushed photograph

(instrumental)

Verse:

So where does that leave us both on different roads
Askin' God to meet us on a mountain of hope
To bring your life healing and touch your soul in ways you won't forget
Like where I'm hurting with the Father's love for you

Chorus:

And I'll meet you in a place of surrender
Yeah, I will hold you there forever
Where you are known and loved
And I'll pray you through the valley of surrender
Where your highest endeavor
Is to give up

Background vocals/loop:

For God is not done with you
He's gonna win who do
You think you are
God's not someone you outsmart
You'd better repent and get
Some therapy down on your knees
Lest He should send you more hurt
To draw you to Him
In a place of surrender

Tag:

I'll meet you there

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I don't think I will ever stop working on this place of surrender that defines my life!

With a faithful Shepherd,

Dwayna