How to Be Happy and Single: At Ease in a Quiet Room

I spoke with a friend I have known since I was 13 years old last week. As we were catching up, he told me that he is going through a divorce now. He said, "This quiet room is killing me! I just can't handle this empty house." I replied, "I know all about a quiet room, and I don't mind it at all."

People go to extremes to avoid quiet rooms where they have to be alone with themselves. I used to want someone to come along and make me feel better about myself. Men full of charm made me feel really good, and when it came time to leave, as I found their character to not be compatible with mine, I really missed the way they made me feel. God even let me know, back in my twenties about one particular man, that I did not love him nearly as much as I loved the way the guy made me feel about myself. I wanted him to come back and make me happy again, because I needed someone to make me happy. This awareness was a gift that set me on the road for God to heal deep wounds within myself and put me more at ease.

I used to feel empty when I prayed, and I wanted someone to make me happy and fill up my heart. People often run from themselves to parties, church socials, dates, substances, activities...anything, anyone and anywhere they can to escape the "dis-ease" within. I can't say for sure when God did it or even how God did it, but over time, as I have lived according to His Word, He has taken away all emptiness and given me rest. The road of obedience is costly, but a reward like peace within is worth it!

As I have grown in the Lord, as a result of being single all of these years, I have truly learned to enjoy a quiet room so much that I would not want to give it up. Just the other day, as I felt so much happiness all alone, I thought to myself, "If I were married, I guess the guy would have a job where I could still be alone some of the time, because I really like being alone. I would hate to be with a person 24/7." Of course, if I ever get married, it will be a calling from God on my life, and it will be wonderful, just like everything else God arranges. I will mature in ways I cannot as a single person, and it will be a glorious union, but marriage can't take the place of a quiet room.

Years ago, in the midst of nothing going my way and no "Mr. Right" to "fill me up", I discovered the joys of Bible study. I am not talking about something boring, but truly the thrill of listening to a good teacher take me through a passage to explain it in a way that draws me closer to Jesus. I used to sit and take notes to learn more about the Bible from a good sermon by John MacArthur or Walter Martin, and it was fun. And this type of fun certainly does not require marriage! God gave me a hunger for learning, and taking notes on sermons is still one of my favorite things to do!

I became an avid reader with always a stack of books beside my bed to go through. Reading is calming to me, and it is fun to learn. And, once again, this fun does not require marriage!

When I am alone in a quiet room I can write. I enjoy journaling and writing new songs and poetry, and it fills up my heart. Again, no marriage required for such joy!

I like working, setting goals and finding it exhilarating when I accomplish goals. And all of the exhilaration comes from the work God has given me to do for His glory. No romance required!

I hardly ever watch TV, but I do enjoy documentaries and programs that help me learn. I also like the news and romantic movies from the 50s. I don't need anyone here to laugh at a funny movie or learn something new from a documentary. All of this interests me just fine on my own!

I like studying vocabulary, because I like learning new words. No husband required for that!

Oh, and here is the best part: I can pray anytime I want. At any given moment, I can kneel down on my knees beside my bed in my little "prayer spot" and pour out my heart to God, a God who is my Father and a Savior who is my Friend. I can sing the hymns to Him, as I have sung them all of my life, and I feel His loving presence. I can pray for my loved ones and share every single fear and disappointment with my Wonderful Counselor who is a good Husband to me.

I am going to leave my loft in Buckhead now and get some dinner; however, I am not leaving because I hate being in this quiet room. I look forward to coming back here tonight and sleeping once again in a beautiful home God has given me, because He has made His home in my heart.

It has been said, concerning our attempts to "escape ourselves" that "wherever we go, we appear." People move to different locations, thinking happiness awaits them there. But they find that wherever they go, they take themselves with them.

When I prayed all of those years for God to ease my loneliness by giving me someone, He had something better in mind. He wanted to keep me all for Himself to make me happy on my own.