We Press On

I am learning a new song today called "Press On", and I hope to record it at some point. I cannot really express what God is doing in my heart, but I know it is something good. There are some matters that I always wanted to keep private, yet they have been made public. I have a full testimony and the condensed version. I am much more comfortable with the condensed version. All of my life has been under the sovereignty of God, and I realize that He is the Author and Finisher of my faith. Yet, I am not prepared for others to know about all I have been through in my life. I spoke about it--my full testimony-- on a cable TV program, and now that program is gaining much more attention. I did not expect that! I share my full testimony in certain settings and realize that God uses it to convict others and bring Himself glory. But, when I think about the general public knowing, I just want to cry. It is a lot to take to the Lord in prayer. I can barely watch myself sharing my full testimony in this video that is gaining much more attention than I ever dreamed. I asked the producer to remove it from YouTube. He removed it from YouTube and put it on a more popular site for videos and television programs! I hate the way I look in it--I am uncomfortable seeing myself in pain and recounting "private" matters, yet I want to keep it up if that is what God wants. "Dying" is so hard. I am speaking with a counselor about the pros and cons of keeping it up. I can't even make the list without crying. I don't want to be really known. Yet, I realize God really knows me, and He has directed my every step, even allowing heartache for my good. He is the God over the history of my life. I guess I need to surrender my pride with God more down on my knees. This is a painful season for me. But, this season of surrender I am going through does not take God by surprise. What a shelter I have in Him.

When the valley is deep
When the mountain is steep
When the body is weary
When we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard
When we’re battered and scarred
When we’ve spent our resources
When we’ve given our all

In Jesus’ name
We press on
In Jesus’ name
We press on
Dear Lord for the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on