A Place of Rest for Me

I am writing with joy in my heart, though it has been such a hectic and emotional day. I just finished my time in prayer tonight, and I had the most encouraging voice mail waiting from a Christian guy from First Bapt. Atlanta. We are only friends, but it meant so much to me. He just called out of the blue, and it was like his words of encouragement were sent from God just for me today! I called him back to thank him.

During this hectic day, I finished a new song. The song is called "This Gift," and I literally had to pull over to the side of the road to write, because the lyric all came for the verses. I wrote it about a man I used to know who did not want the gift of God's love, or God's love in me! He didn't want anything from me at all (when he knew he could not lie to me.) I got him a nice gift with his name engraved on it and something engraved about God's love on it to make it very unique, and he did not want the gift and never thanked me for it. I have this gift with his name on it, as a result, and I am sure I will never give it to the guy. Normally, I am not the least bit sad about it, but today I felt sad as I wrote this beautiful song called "This Gift" about all God has to offer a person, even though the person does not care.

I spent my time in prayer, and, as usual, I sang a few lines of a hymn and felt the Lord with me. I cannot sing those hymns without thinking about the meaning of the lyrics, and when I think of the meaning of the lyrics, it just touches me so much. I sang a few lines of "All The Way My Savior Leads Me," and I talked to the Lord about everything.

I checked my voice mail to hear, "Dwayna! Ephesians 5:16! 'Redeem the time for the days are evil.'" I stood there listening with a big smile on my face. I realized there is no need for me to be sad! He went on to tell me, "I know God is pleased with all you are doing, and you are out there telling people about Jesus, and I know God loves you so much." I stood there in my kitchen listening to this message with nothing but happiness within. I called him back to thank him for being such a good friend and shared with him how I had been writing a song today, which had left me feeling unusually melancholy when I have every reason to be happy!

I was then reminded that it is ok. It is ok to have a "slow night" with so many things I need to get done. It is ok to feel sad, because God's mercy truly IS new every morning. It is ok to be rejected because of Jesus in me. It is ok to not be understood or appreciated by someone who is not leading an honest life, because the lost sure don't understand Jesus or appreciate all He has done for them. It is ok to offer someone a beautiful GIFT from God for the person's soul and have them not want it. I would rather lead an honest life. If I lose a deceiver here and there as a result, I can rejoice, because the Lord rescues me from harm. I do get tired of how Satan comes to touch the heart. Sometimes I think he has a hey day with me as a single person. I am reminded that Charles Stanley said, "Satan comes back 'at an opportune time' at your point of weakness. He does not come where you are strong. He keeps coming back in that same area of weakness."

I am a lot stronger in that area, but he keeps coming back. For me, interestingly, it has been in the area of men that I have been tested and tested. It is interesting, because I have never been married, and it has been amazing how God has rescued me from danger and kept me. The enemy does not tempt me to drink or do drugs or self-destruct in any way on my own. He will bring a guy my way--the kind of man I like--and the guy will be a deceiver, and the enemy seems to make a sport out of it, yet God just leads me through. I am thankful for the respite now. You could not pay me to get on an Internet dating site. I am not looking for any man to make me happy or complete me, because I am happy on my own. It does hurt though when a deceiver comes along, unexpected, and touches my heart. I don't have to go looking for it. These tests find me. But, praise the Lord, no one can touch me without first going through Jesus. No wonder that last guy left and stopped trying to even pretend he was my friend.