Wednesday, June 29, 2011
First Baptist Sevierville This Sunday
I am speaking about Lighting the Way this Sunday morning at First Baptist Sevierville. I am hoping and praying God will give us a new leader for the University of TN outreach, so I am speaking in a large Sunday School class for Singles at FBCS and showing a slide presentation of our outreach in action.
New LTW Slide Show
All I can say is I feel inundated with this task daily. I am compiling photos today for the Rio Grande Valley, LTW to the Smokies, Little Five Points, U.T., Pakistan, GA Tech and Angola Prison...to update our slide show for churches.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Visiting Nursing Homes Today
I am thankful both of my parents have taught me by example to make time to visit people in nursing homes. My mother sees a list of Christian widows in nursing homes once a month, and today I went with her. It really means a lot to the people when we show them love and encouragement in the Lord. My dad has also always been one to visit people in hospitals and nursing homes without hesitation to encourage them. I am thankful for the example of my parents and their humility, humility required to know how to love. The older I get and the more places I travel, the more I am thankful for my "simple" roots and my Christian family and the wise testimony they have shown me through a life of faith in God. How could any gift be greater or more important in my life?
Updated Slide Presentation
I am finally on a roll creating the new slide presentation to show our ministry locations in action. I have an excellent tech guy to help me with this project, and I hope to have it all done by the end of this week. That will be quite an accomplishment! I am working away at it daily. This presentation will be for churches and pastors who want more information about our work in missions.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Dedication
"Dedication is the ability to carry out the intent of a decision long after the emotion that inspired it has faded." Dr. Nelson Price (From this morning"s sermon at First Baptist Sevierville, TN)
I think about when I moved from LA to Boulder, CO, to get the outreach going there. I felt very strongly that God had led me there and felt emotion and excitement initially at the idea. I prayed for God to bring it to fruition, but once I was there, it was a different story. I enjoyed doing the mission work on Pearl Street, but I did not fit in with the culture at all, and I took lonely walks with God and had lonely prayer times, telling God that I would stay as long as He wanted me to stay, remembering how He confirmed in many ways that He had led me there to begin the outreach on Pearl Street. (God provided leaders for the outreach at Venice Beach which I had begun, as well as the outreach in West Hollywood; this was one of the confirmations for which I had asked God in prayer as I was considering moving to Boulder, CO, to begin a new outreach of evangelism on Pearl Street.)
After a year, God led me to move to NYC to begin the outreach there, and He provided and confirmed in drastic ways that a new season had begun in His will for me, in a new place. (One way, again, was how He provided a leader for the outreach on Pearl Street in Boulder with a church interested in continuing it without me, freeing me to move on and expand the ministry to NYC.) How I thank Him that His peace is the umpire in such decisions. Satan cannot counterfeit His peace.
We know we are where God wants us to be as He confirms by opening doors or closing them. The will of God is not some nuanced hidden treasure for His own. God wants us to be in His will more than we want it! He expects us to grow up in our decision making and use wisdom, which always involves obedience, and we have freedom under such an umbrella. He leads us through our desires and confirms as we move out in certain directions. We don't have to be afraid of "missing" God's will. Though excitement and passion are gifts as we live for God and do our work for Him, we can trust Him more than our feelings, and our dedication goes far beyond emotional experiences.
When I first began the ministry of Lighting the Way at Venice Beach, I could not pray about the mere idea without crying. Once the ministry began, and a man came up to literally spit on me as I was sitting at my Christian table in that demonic environment minding my own business, I had to remember how God called me to such mission work. I was able to not react and show love to the man, and he eventually warmed up to me and even let me share with him about Jesus. The sober life of a Christian is not some capricious whim of infatuation but based on a deep love for our Lord, and a deep desire to live for Him no matter the cost, finding His pleasure enough to see us through persecution to any degree.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Today at LTW to the Smokies
I am here in TN visiting my family, and it was such a pleasure to work the outreach table with my mother from about 9:00 A.M. until 2:30 P.M, to visitors to the Smoky Mountains.
We had such a great day! God brought over many children, and we gave them all materials for kids about Jesus to share with their parents and grandparents. One nice woman approached who believed that all religions are the same and that all we need is love. We were so glad God led her over, as we had a delightful conversation with her about God's love and how His love differs in purity from other gods; we told her about the unique love of Jesus who died on a cross for our sins and rose again, alive today to hear our prayers and have a relationship with us. She took sermons on CD and some materials about what the Bible teaches about life after death. We had the pleasure of meeting a Catholic woman who was very receptive to our materials for Catholics. The first photo above shows me with a precious little boy named Joshua. He wanted me to sing to him, so I sang him a song about Jesus for kids. He took a CD of my singing at age 10, as well as materials for children from CBH Ministries ("Uncle Charlie") and from Child Evangelism. I sang him:
Did you ever talk to God above
Tell Him that you need a Friend to love
Pray in Jesus' name believing that God answers prayer?
Have you told Him all your cares and woes
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He'll always care
And He will answer prayer
You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you're alone to Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts
On a lofty mountain peak He's there
In a meadow by a stream He's there
Anywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start
Find the answer in His Word it's true
You'll be strong because He walks with you
By His faithfulness He'll change you, too
God answers prayer
Another adorable little boy came over. I asked him if he had ever been to church or heard about Jesus. He said, "Once when I went to a Salvation Army camp, but that was a long time ago." I gave him a hug and told him that he could have a relationship with God, the God who created him, and I explained that we come to know God by reading the Bible. He took our materials for children with excitement, and I knew that it was not by accident that God led him to us. I pray for him especially tonight and smile as I think of seeing him off to the side with his grandparents reading him the materials we gave him about how to have a relationship with Jesus, the only God who loves the little children with pure love to last for all eternity, the only God who teaches that we must come to Him like a little child.
We had such a great day! God brought over many children, and we gave them all materials for kids about Jesus to share with their parents and grandparents. One nice woman approached who believed that all religions are the same and that all we need is love. We were so glad God led her over, as we had a delightful conversation with her about God's love and how His love differs in purity from other gods; we told her about the unique love of Jesus who died on a cross for our sins and rose again, alive today to hear our prayers and have a relationship with us. She took sermons on CD and some materials about what the Bible teaches about life after death. We had the pleasure of meeting a Catholic woman who was very receptive to our materials for Catholics. The first photo above shows me with a precious little boy named Joshua. He wanted me to sing to him, so I sang him a song about Jesus for kids. He took a CD of my singing at age 10, as well as materials for children from CBH Ministries ("Uncle Charlie") and from Child Evangelism. I sang him:Did you ever talk to God above
Tell Him that you need a Friend to love
Pray in Jesus' name believing that God answers prayer?
Have you told Him all your cares and woes
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He'll always care
And He will answer prayer
You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you're alone to Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts
On a lofty mountain peak He's there
In a meadow by a stream He's there
Anywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start
Find the answer in His Word it's true
You'll be strong because He walks with you
By His faithfulness He'll change you, too
God answers prayer
Another adorable little boy came over. I asked him if he had ever been to church or heard about Jesus. He said, "Once when I went to a Salvation Army camp, but that was a long time ago." I gave him a hug and told him that he could have a relationship with God, the God who created him, and I explained that we come to know God by reading the Bible. He took our materials for children with excitement, and I knew that it was not by accident that God led him to us. I pray for him especially tonight and smile as I think of seeing him off to the side with his grandparents reading him the materials we gave him about how to have a relationship with Jesus, the only God who loves the little children with pure love to last for all eternity, the only God who teaches that we must come to Him like a little child.
I realized, like every time when I do this outreach, that there was no better way for me to have spent my time today!
Friday, June 24, 2011
LTW Update: Pakistan
Photos from Pastor Babar of recent table outreach where he made tracts and Bibles available for free to people who want to learn more about Jesus in Pakistan.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
LTW Update: Rio Grande Valley
TABLE MINISTRY UPDATE/RIO GRANDE VALLEYJackson St., Harlingen, TX - (June 4, 2011)
Curt and Janie Rolf
The day started out GREAT with a lady talking about her three kids who love reading the Bible. It wasn’t difficult to give her “The Most Important Story Ever Told” and a few Father’s Day coloring pages (with the first 5 commandments, emphasizing the 5th). The beauty of this lady’s visit was that she was a vendor right across from where we set up, and as she watched us set up, she couldn’t wait to pay us a visit!
What a joy….Leo showed up! We read the “Daily Bread” devotional for today, and he went on to talk about a history book describing historical events in the Bible. I asked him to bring it next month. He was pretty distraught over his older brother who seems unable to avoid trouble. I convinced Leo to take Lee a coloring page honoring “Father’s Day”. It sounds very much like his parents are separated. Please pray for that family.
A fellow stopped by and was interested in the book on our table, Where is God When Things Go Wrong?. That was a rather popular booklet today. When little Jaime stopped by for a copy, they were all gone. We’ll be sure to set one aside for him next month.
A delightful, shy couple stopped by. After we said, "All of the materials are free," the conversation opened up toward Spanish materials. I’m again grateful we had the CBH devotionals in Spanish, as well as the children’s Bible in Spanish.
Speaking of Spanish materials, a fellow stopped by and, in Spanish, asked about tracts to hand out himself. Each of the tracts on our table from Chapel Library were given to him, at least the ones that we had both in Spanish and English. In my poor Spanish, I explained that certain amounts are mailed out free of charge and showed him on the tract how he could contact Chapel Library.
Our friend with whom we have spoken in the past about exorcism passed by but was not eager to talk, although we did get his name, Patricio, and we will be praying for him.
Another lady with a young son was grateful to receive one of our last copies of Knowing Aslan.(Aslan is a metaphor for God).
All 25 copies of our color pages honoring dad were gone by 12:30.
A young boy (maybe 9) was attracted to our booklet, Where’s God When Things Go Wrong?. As he left our table to catch up with his mom Curt remarked, "That got into the right hands."
A challenging conversation ensued with two men determined they could sway God "by faith" as to their "numbered" date for their earthly deaths, as well as their fate concerning health issues. Curt asked for scripture backing up their ideas, and they said they would look them up and discuss them next time.
It was interesting to see an increasing number of religious booths, including a Catholic fund-raising booth selling raffle tickets for a car.
Another was doing a “survey” with an excellent presentation of the Gospel and another couple was doing face-painting and tied animal balloons, handing out an excellent tract paralleling the soldiers' willingness to give his life for freedom, family and country and Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for the world.
Curt listened at another booth as a young lady explained how we can choose Jesus Christ and our destiny. Curt thought she was handing out New Testaments.
Vendors are always a highlight in the day. Along with the other vendor that was across from us, Debra, our next-door neighbor, told Janie about the mom of the 2 handsome boys (twins) who were helping her today. Their mom, Rosie, sounds like a dear and faithful soul, bearing up under some severe medical issues. I mustered up the courage to give Debra and the boys a copy of “Our Daily Bread” 3-month devotional and The Way of the Shepherd. They gladly accepted and Debra asked for prayer for the boys’ mom. I certainly have obliged.
A young man stopped by and picked up the bright red tract “The Occult Nightmare” by Gregory Reid. I suggested the CD on “Vampire Fiction and Pink Ouija Boards for Little Girls". He accepted.
It started out a GREAT day and ended the same!!!
We were grateful for the breeze and canopy on this sweltering 95+ degree day.
Relying on Him as He directs our paths (Prov. 16:9),
Curt and Janie
Rio Grande Valley – Harlingen, Texas
From My Heart
I had a great time in prayer last night. I couldn't help but cry, as I thanked God for hearing my prayer from my heart--feeling that I need His guidance so much during this time in my life---though I was not sitting in a yoga position, speaking in tongues, speaking in Hebrew (though some people in Hebrew cults now purport it to be the "holy" prayer language) or anything else out of the ordinary. I was soberly speaking to my heavenly Father from my heart, and I could feel His Holy Spirit of love as I prayed. I thanked Him for caring and hearing my prayer. It is quite a miracle that someone like myself can speak to the God of all creation anytime, day or night. He says I cannot come to Him too much. He never complains about my needing Him too much. He never feels "pressured" by my love for Him or my desires or my fears or my mistakes or my complicated heart. He has me all figured out, right where He wants me to be and keeps me there. It is certainly not because of me, but it is all because Jesus is such a faithful Shepherd. More than once, as a dumb sheep, I have wandered in the wrong direction, and He has come to faithfully lead me back to safety and the green pastures of Home. I thank Him for the way He rescues me from danger and keeps me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Here is what I have been praying about: 1) the need for a leader in NYC, given the fact that the current leader is moving away from NYC permanently and 2) all of the doors that God is surprisingly opening for me to sing music in NYC.
Both of these have come as quite a surprise. As for the musical doors that are opening, I did not search any of them out. God has practically dropped opportunites my way, and I am praying for Him to confirm it all. Christine, our excellent ministry leader, told me only last month that she is leaving NYC permanently, so we are without a leader now for the outreach.
Meanwhile, all of the ministries in Atlanta are going strong without me. Yet, I don't feel at all that I am meant to move back to NYC, because I love my life in Atlanta and enjoy living closer to my family in TN. God has provided affordable subletting for me to return soon to NYC to help out with the ministry and also record many new songs and begin singing around the city. Yet, I cannot afford to sublet permanently. I cannot believe I am even praying about plans that God may have for me again in NYC. I thank Him with all of my heart for the doors He is opening, but, once again, the Lord has TOTALLY surprised me with the way He seems to be leading.
I remember the first time I lived in New York, I walked past Carnegie Hall and got tears in my eyes as I prayed to God about how much I loved the music. Back then was not God's timing for me to sing on the level doors are opening now. He had so much (painful) pruning to do within my heart, to lovingly teach me that my life is a success because of Him and my relationship with Him as I live in obedience to Him. Music is not my God; the Creator of music is.
So, as "I have died with my life hidden with Christ in God" for years without performing in music, I have wondered when or if I will ever sing again like I used to sing around NY and record full time in Nashville. I wondered if there would ever be an opportunity where I could live for Jesus without compromise and be in the music industry. I moved to Nashville at age 17, never foreseeing the onslaught of tests and my own vulnerability as a sheep truly in the midst of wolves on Music Row. I ended up leaving the whole scene, because I did not see a way to succeed in the entertainment business without hurting God, given the situations that had been presented to me with producers wanting to have affairs and scripts offered to me in acting amuck with profanity, all of which I turned down.
God surprised me with this ministry beginning and then spreading. Telling people about Jesus and encouraging others to do evangelism through our table outreach format has truly been a thrill to my soul. It will always be an HONOR for me to stand behind a table where free Bibles are offered to people passing, as well as other literature about how to be saved through Jesus. It will always be an honor I don't deserve to be known as a "Christian", a Christian whose life is not my own.
However, with every day that has passed, only God knows how much I have missed the music. He has now provided a very professional musical situation that is totally right, and I feel His pleasure in it all. My songs are being done with a higher caliber of talent and musicianship than I have ever had before, and opportunites are even presenting themselves for me to sing around town in NY. What a surprise! I can't believe it. God has provided the funds for this without using any ministry funds, of course, from an unexpected, personal gift from my family.
So, I pray. I'm praying that I will follow as God leads. I can't pray and thank Him without crying tears of joy for giving back to me the very thing I gave up for Him.
With staying close to Jesus as much better than fame,
Dwayna
Here is what I have been praying about: 1) the need for a leader in NYC, given the fact that the current leader is moving away from NYC permanently and 2) all of the doors that God is surprisingly opening for me to sing music in NYC.
Both of these have come as quite a surprise. As for the musical doors that are opening, I did not search any of them out. God has practically dropped opportunites my way, and I am praying for Him to confirm it all. Christine, our excellent ministry leader, told me only last month that she is leaving NYC permanently, so we are without a leader now for the outreach.
Meanwhile, all of the ministries in Atlanta are going strong without me. Yet, I don't feel at all that I am meant to move back to NYC, because I love my life in Atlanta and enjoy living closer to my family in TN. God has provided affordable subletting for me to return soon to NYC to help out with the ministry and also record many new songs and begin singing around the city. Yet, I cannot afford to sublet permanently. I cannot believe I am even praying about plans that God may have for me again in NYC. I thank Him with all of my heart for the doors He is opening, but, once again, the Lord has TOTALLY surprised me with the way He seems to be leading.
I remember the first time I lived in New York, I walked past Carnegie Hall and got tears in my eyes as I prayed to God about how much I loved the music. Back then was not God's timing for me to sing on the level doors are opening now. He had so much (painful) pruning to do within my heart, to lovingly teach me that my life is a success because of Him and my relationship with Him as I live in obedience to Him. Music is not my God; the Creator of music is.
So, as "I have died with my life hidden with Christ in God" for years without performing in music, I have wondered when or if I will ever sing again like I used to sing around NY and record full time in Nashville. I wondered if there would ever be an opportunity where I could live for Jesus without compromise and be in the music industry. I moved to Nashville at age 17, never foreseeing the onslaught of tests and my own vulnerability as a sheep truly in the midst of wolves on Music Row. I ended up leaving the whole scene, because I did not see a way to succeed in the entertainment business without hurting God, given the situations that had been presented to me with producers wanting to have affairs and scripts offered to me in acting amuck with profanity, all of which I turned down.
God surprised me with this ministry beginning and then spreading. Telling people about Jesus and encouraging others to do evangelism through our table outreach format has truly been a thrill to my soul. It will always be an HONOR for me to stand behind a table where free Bibles are offered to people passing, as well as other literature about how to be saved through Jesus. It will always be an honor I don't deserve to be known as a "Christian", a Christian whose life is not my own.
However, with every day that has passed, only God knows how much I have missed the music. He has now provided a very professional musical situation that is totally right, and I feel His pleasure in it all. My songs are being done with a higher caliber of talent and musicianship than I have ever had before, and opportunites are even presenting themselves for me to sing around town in NY. What a surprise! I can't believe it. God has provided the funds for this without using any ministry funds, of course, from an unexpected, personal gift from my family.
So, I pray. I'm praying that I will follow as God leads. I can't pray and thank Him without crying tears of joy for giving back to me the very thing I gave up for Him.
With staying close to Jesus as much better than fame,
Dwayna
Monday, June 20, 2011
Work Today
After a trip to the storage unit with more mailouts, I am beginning work on a new slide presentation for churches to show all of our outreach locations. This is an overwhelming task, so I am working on it location per location, a little every day.
I heard from the team at Little Five Points last Saturday. They said they were not that busy, but the conversations they had were very meaningful, and the people were receptive. I hope to have a summary with photos to post soon.
I heard from the team at Little Five Points last Saturday. They said they were not that busy, but the conversations they had were very meaningful, and the people were receptive. I hope to have a summary with photos to post soon.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saved to be a Servant
Before I sang at the women's prison last night, I had a great meeting with our leaders of the outreach we do in Atlanta at Little Five Points, reminding me that God saved me to be a servant. We prayed that God would never let us be too busy to share about His love through evangelism with others. Here I am with Anthony and Rick before they set up the outreach table yesterday, and I headed to sing at the women's prison.
LTW to the Smokies Outreach Update
Lighting the Way to the Smokies Update June 18, 2011
Although the weather forecast called for storms this morning, it was a beautiful, sunny morning in the Great Smoky Mts. National Park. The parking lot was almost full when I arrived at the Sugarlands Visitor Center near Gatlinburg. Unlike last Saturday, I carried the table and supplies a longer distance to set up, but the exercise was good for me. Around noon a park ranger came near my spot to look at Mt. LeConte. He saw that the visibility from the top was excellent and was glad the hikers would enjoy their view up there. He also informed me that at the top, LeConte is only 50 ft. below the elevation of Clingmans Dome, which is the highest peak in the Smokies.
Since I have hiked both places, I knew there couldn’t be very much difference in their elevations. He predicted the storms would come around 4 P.M., but when I heard the first sound of thunder at 1:00, I started packing to secure the materials in the car. Nothing got wet, except me and the table. The huge drops of rain felt good on a hot day, and the folding table, which I carried, looked much cleaner.
God brought many people over to the table today, but I will share only a few examples of how He was at work.
1. A lady who recently lost most of her vision was, perhaps, the happiest of all of the tourists as she received an audio DVD of the entire Bible.
2. Two ladies from Australia said they had a Bible, but they did not seem to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I gave them a brief overview of the tracts and booklets on the table and was sure to include a presentation of the Gospel before I finished. They asked for the following items: After Death What Then? 101 Last Days Prophecy, Pure Gold, and The Way of the Shepherd.
3. Two young boys were interested in the pamphlet done by Theta Baptist Church, “Are You A Good Person.” We talked about how we cannot keep the Ten Commandments and how we need a Savior. Since they wanted a bookmark with a timeline of Biblical events on it, I explained each event to them, emphasizing what Jesus did for us on the cross. They brought their dad over, and I shared with him the purpose of the LTW ministry. He listened respectfully and asked if he could take a picture of the boys at the table. They left giving their dad a test using the questions from “Are You A Good Person?”
4. A little girl from NY brought her grandmother to the table. I explained some of the children’s tracts from Child Evangelism, and she said she was in a Christian school and had to do a project about God as Creator. She wanted the tract, “Science Confirms the Bible;” 100 Scientific Facts and Foreknowledge; Evolution, Fact Or Fiction? and the DVD, God of Wonders. Her grandmother said she wanted to bring the rest of her family by the table before they left the visitor center, and she did.
5. A teenager, who had not been a Christian very long, said she and her mother had had a hard life. After being saved recently, she was baptized on her mother’s birthday. We talked about how to grow and mature in Jesus, and she took a magazine, Acts and Facts by the Institute For Creation Research; the DVD, Countdown to Eternity; “How to Know God;” and “Steps to Peace With God.” She came back to the table before she left, and the adults with her thanked me for the materials she had been given and asked if she could have her picture made with me. I promised to pray for her and her family.
6. One Christian couple from Louisiana came over to encourage me. I mentioned how Lighting the Way has an outreach table twice a year at Angola Prison near Baton Rouge. They have ministered to the inmates there, also, and know one of the chaplains, which I know. We discussed some of the inmates for whom I have been praying, as well as Warden Cain. They are planning to worship with me in the morning. In addition, there were three other families who asked where I would suggest they worship tomorrow, and, of course, I told them how to get to my church, 1st Baptist Sevierville.
7. I met a lady who taught in the Chattanooga Public School System during the years I taught at Soddy-Daisy Jr. High. Although we did not know each other until today, we had a good conversation about how we approached each day with the hope of making a positive difference in the lives of our students. She had been a teacher in Mexico for a few years, also, and it was fun for us to share how much we missed certain aspects of the teaching profession, as both of us are retired now.
“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,”
“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,”
Claudette Litz
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Update
I had a great time singing at the women's prison, sharing my testimony in song. I am getting to bed early to read my Bible. I have enjoyed reading at least one Psalm per day and doing some work memorizing verses, which has always been one of the most enriching experiences I've ever had in my relationship with God. It is powerful to memorize Scripture.
Today I had such a great meeting with Anthony and Rick, two leaders of the Little Five Points outreach. I was reminded that even when we are as loving as possible, we battle against spirits. If someone has a heart that is against the Holy Spirit in us (even if such a person is unaware of such an aversion within himself or herself), the person won't like us. There will be a backlash when we point out God's truth to that person. It is nothing we should take personally, because our battle is not against flesh and blood but every speculation and...lofty thing raised up against the power of God.
We ended our meeting in prayer, asking God to never let us be too busy to do the work of evangelism. It is the most glorious work we will ever do this side of heaven.
Today I had such a great meeting with Anthony and Rick, two leaders of the Little Five Points outreach. I was reminded that even when we are as loving as possible, we battle against spirits. If someone has a heart that is against the Holy Spirit in us (even if such a person is unaware of such an aversion within himself or herself), the person won't like us. There will be a backlash when we point out God's truth to that person. It is nothing we should take personally, because our battle is not against flesh and blood but every speculation and...lofty thing raised up against the power of God.
We ended our meeting in prayer, asking God to never let us be too busy to do the work of evangelism. It is the most glorious work we will ever do this side of heaven.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Update from Israel (from Dov and Olga)
Shalom, dear praying friends!
Here is our June 2011 ministry update.
We keep in touch with five different families in difficult circumstances (they are either former drug addicts or alcoholics, or struggle with cancer) and help them with both spiritual and financial matters. I would like to “introduce you” to three of these families. Please pray for them and the others, as well as for me to be able to visit them as often as possible. They display genuine spiritual thirst but cannot attend local congregations yet (for different reasons, including their spiritual immaturity and problematic background). I see that every visit is important for them and helps bring them one more step forward in their walk with the Lord.
Rivka and Eli
We met Rivka and Eli (native Israelis) five years ago near a methadone clinic, where we used to set our table and distribute Bibles and Christian literature every week. Rivka was very open to the Gospel and gladly took our books. One day as I shared with her about the sacrifice of Yeshua, I saw tears in her eyes. We began visiting the family in their home, but after a time we lost touch. When we met them again this year, we learned that Rivka was suffering from a difficult form of cancer. At the same time, however, we found out that she had become a believer in Jesus Christ and was ready to talk about the changes God was making in her heart and soul! When I asked how she found the Lord in the middle of such suffering as a cancer patient, she told me that she did not find Him; He found her! Rivka and Eli have three adult sons and are around 50 years old. They like to read the Scriptures and talk about the Lord. I try to visit them as often as possible. Please pray for this family.
Arcady and Galina
I started visiting 65 –year-old Arcady and his wife, Galina, several months ago. Whenever I visit, they treat me with special warmth. Sadly, Arcady has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for 11 years. Galina is a believer, but Arcady is used to an intellectual approach to everything in his life. So he is in the midst of a battle – his mind is looking for contradictions in the Bible and his heart is longing for the Lord. I know they appreciate my visits, and I ask you to please pray for Arcady’s salvation and health.
Anton and Sofia
We have always had a special close relationship with Anton. We met Anton and Sofia several years ago and have been in touch since. Anton has repented and accepted Jesus; he is now free from his drug addiction! He tried to attend a local congregation with his family (his wife is very open to the Gospel), but he is still quite weak spiritually and needs much help and guidance. Since he and his wife work a lot, it is sometimes difficult to meet for a Bible study. But recently Anton has told me our weekly visits are important to him; he does not want to skip a single one. Anton and Sofia now have a baby. Please pray for this family and their spiritual well-being.
Family
Please continue praying for our 16 year old son Yossi. His disease – muscular dystrophy – is causing him so much pain in different parts of his body; he can hardly sleep during the night. Please pray for him and for Olga, as she is staying awake with him, trying to make him more comfortable.
Thank you very much for your care and prayers!
May God bless you all,
Dov and Olga Bikas
June 2011
Here is our June 2011 ministry update.
We keep in touch with five different families in difficult circumstances (they are either former drug addicts or alcoholics, or struggle with cancer) and help them with both spiritual and financial matters. I would like to “introduce you” to three of these families. Please pray for them and the others, as well as for me to be able to visit them as often as possible. They display genuine spiritual thirst but cannot attend local congregations yet (for different reasons, including their spiritual immaturity and problematic background). I see that every visit is important for them and helps bring them one more step forward in their walk with the Lord.
Rivka and Eli
We met Rivka and Eli (native Israelis) five years ago near a methadone clinic, where we used to set our table and distribute Bibles and Christian literature every week. Rivka was very open to the Gospel and gladly took our books. One day as I shared with her about the sacrifice of Yeshua, I saw tears in her eyes. We began visiting the family in their home, but after a time we lost touch. When we met them again this year, we learned that Rivka was suffering from a difficult form of cancer. At the same time, however, we found out that she had become a believer in Jesus Christ and was ready to talk about the changes God was making in her heart and soul! When I asked how she found the Lord in the middle of such suffering as a cancer patient, she told me that she did not find Him; He found her! Rivka and Eli have three adult sons and are around 50 years old. They like to read the Scriptures and talk about the Lord. I try to visit them as often as possible. Please pray for this family.
Arcady and Galina
I started visiting 65 –year-old Arcady and his wife, Galina, several months ago. Whenever I visit, they treat me with special warmth. Sadly, Arcady has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for 11 years. Galina is a believer, but Arcady is used to an intellectual approach to everything in his life. So he is in the midst of a battle – his mind is looking for contradictions in the Bible and his heart is longing for the Lord. I know they appreciate my visits, and I ask you to please pray for Arcady’s salvation and health.
Anton and Sofia
We have always had a special close relationship with Anton. We met Anton and Sofia several years ago and have been in touch since. Anton has repented and accepted Jesus; he is now free from his drug addiction! He tried to attend a local congregation with his family (his wife is very open to the Gospel), but he is still quite weak spiritually and needs much help and guidance. Since he and his wife work a lot, it is sometimes difficult to meet for a Bible study. But recently Anton has told me our weekly visits are important to him; he does not want to skip a single one. Anton and Sofia now have a baby. Please pray for this family and their spiritual well-being.
Family
Please continue praying for our 16 year old son Yossi. His disease – muscular dystrophy – is causing him so much pain in different parts of his body; he can hardly sleep during the night. Please pray for him and for Olga, as she is staying awake with him, trying to make him more comfortable.
Thank you very much for your care and prayers!
May God bless you all,
Dov and Olga Bikas
June 2011
Web Site Updates
We have updated the web site now to add the new location of the Angola Rodeo table outreach at Louisiana State Penitentiary:
http://ltwinternational.org/main/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=456&Itemid=64
http://ltwinternational.org/main/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=456&Itemid=64
Work Today and Tomorrow
I am working on bookkeeping, and I should be finished with it tomorrow.
I am preparing to sing at a women's prison this Saturday, so I will be preparing for that.
I have a meeting with the leaders of the Little Five Points outreach Saturday before they set up. (The team is doing a great job!)
We are still making progress on the new booklet, "Is There A Gay Gene?" The graphic designer is oh, so talented, and the booklet is going to look great. I look forward to finishing it in God's timing, as this designer is graciously donating her time as a contribution to our ministry.
My songs for the new Christian album are being mixed this week...
I'll be sending out packages tomorrow to various outreach locations. They certainly know me by name at the post office! I am thankful for the donations to keep all of the locations well stocked with resources for the table outreaches.
I am preparing to sing at a women's prison this Saturday, so I will be preparing for that.
I have a meeting with the leaders of the Little Five Points outreach Saturday before they set up. (The team is doing a great job!)
We are still making progress on the new booklet, "Is There A Gay Gene?" The graphic designer is oh, so talented, and the booklet is going to look great. I look forward to finishing it in God's timing, as this designer is graciously donating her time as a contribution to our ministry.
My songs for the new Christian album are being mixed this week...
I'll be sending out packages tomorrow to various outreach locations. They certainly know me by name at the post office! I am thankful for the donations to keep all of the locations well stocked with resources for the table outreaches.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Suffering
As I am working today on some creative projects and web site updates, I am listening to John MacArthur speak on 1 Corinthians.
I love how God assures us that there is a purpose for our suffering when it is the price we pay for our love for God. My relationship with God has certainly cost me a lot, but the joy He gives me as a result of living for Him is so much deeper than any suffering I have experienced. It's an honor to suffer anything as a result of having the privilege of living in obedience to Him. It is amazing, the way He makes us stronger and better...through our obedience. He actually makes us better people through the suffering.
It is appropriate for us to suffer as a result of living for Jesus, as Jesus is now in heaven and no longer suffering on behalf of our shame due to sin. One meager life becomes such a beautiful, bright light for His glory WHEN we obey. Anything it costs us is really not worth having. I have certainly seen that in my personal life. God never takes away any relationship worth having as a result of my putting Him first, and I have never regretted such protection over me.
Suffering as a result of obedience separates those who truly know God and those who are only "religious". I have yet to know a deceiver who has been willing to suffer as a result of obedience! The deceivers never want to suffer for their mistakes, much less for obedience!
The Bible says that we love God, because He first loved us. When we are His own, we get the mystery of His love and the mystery of His suffering and all the peace that accompanies such a life without shame. The greatest mystery of all is that JESUS LIVES IN HIS OWN, and He is not merely "with" us. Christ lives in me, and it is the best gift I've ever been given, even though it comes with suffering.
The ministry of Lighting the Way is about me being "complete" in Christ and those who work with me. It is not about how many locations we can have but about our heart before God. God cares more about my heart than anything I could ever "do." He perfects me through the intensity of suffering, and it is so precious how we are NEVER alone as He draws us near, as His power "mightily works within me." That is the strength of any ministry.
The source is the strength. My life will be all God wants it to be--whatever that is--as I trust Him and obey. It is not about any of my goals or achievements but about anything God chooses to do through me. I've enjoyed some time in Bible study today being reminded of that.
I love how God assures us that there is a purpose for our suffering when it is the price we pay for our love for God. My relationship with God has certainly cost me a lot, but the joy He gives me as a result of living for Him is so much deeper than any suffering I have experienced. It's an honor to suffer anything as a result of having the privilege of living in obedience to Him. It is amazing, the way He makes us stronger and better...through our obedience. He actually makes us better people through the suffering.
It is appropriate for us to suffer as a result of living for Jesus, as Jesus is now in heaven and no longer suffering on behalf of our shame due to sin. One meager life becomes such a beautiful, bright light for His glory WHEN we obey. Anything it costs us is really not worth having. I have certainly seen that in my personal life. God never takes away any relationship worth having as a result of my putting Him first, and I have never regretted such protection over me.
Suffering as a result of obedience separates those who truly know God and those who are only "religious". I have yet to know a deceiver who has been willing to suffer as a result of obedience! The deceivers never want to suffer for their mistakes, much less for obedience!
The Bible says that we love God, because He first loved us. When we are His own, we get the mystery of His love and the mystery of His suffering and all the peace that accompanies such a life without shame. The greatest mystery of all is that JESUS LIVES IN HIS OWN, and He is not merely "with" us. Christ lives in me, and it is the best gift I've ever been given, even though it comes with suffering.
The ministry of Lighting the Way is about me being "complete" in Christ and those who work with me. It is not about how many locations we can have but about our heart before God. God cares more about my heart than anything I could ever "do." He perfects me through the intensity of suffering, and it is so precious how we are NEVER alone as He draws us near, as His power "mightily works within me." That is the strength of any ministry.
The source is the strength. My life will be all God wants it to be--whatever that is--as I trust Him and obey. It is not about any of my goals or achievements but about anything God chooses to do through me. I've enjoyed some time in Bible study today being reminded of that.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Work Update
I'm working tonight and tomorrow on web site updates for our new outreach location at Louisiana State Penitentiary.
It is nice to take a break to listen to an excellent sermon by John MacArthur on God's love and how He loves His own in a special way. It is SO hot here in Atlanta, and I find it draining just being out and about running errands. It is so relaxing to rest and listen to this sermon.
After the web site updates are done, I must get busy preparing new slide presentations to show ALL of our outreach locations. This will be a lot of work. I will be singing and showing this video at churches next month giving a missions report of all God has done in Lighting the Way with our new locations. I will be singing and speaking as a missionary at churches including Valley Grove Baptist (Knoxville, TN) and Theta Baptist (Nashville, TN) in July.
It is nice to take a break to listen to an excellent sermon by John MacArthur on God's love and how He loves His own in a special way. It is SO hot here in Atlanta, and I find it draining just being out and about running errands. It is so relaxing to rest and listen to this sermon.
After the web site updates are done, I must get busy preparing new slide presentations to show ALL of our outreach locations. This will be a lot of work. I will be singing and showing this video at churches next month giving a missions report of all God has done in Lighting the Way with our new locations. I will be singing and speaking as a missionary at churches including Valley Grove Baptist (Knoxville, TN) and Theta Baptist (Nashville, TN) in July.
"Trusting God As Freedom Fades" (by Berit Kjos)
Trusting God as Freedom Fades
What does the word "freedom" mean in the context of today's corrupt culture? Amoral license? Liberty to follow feelings rather than facts? A ban on Christian expressions of faith? Mandatory "tolerance" for homosexual lifestyles?
What does the word "freedom" mean in the context of today's corrupt culture? Amoral license? Liberty to follow feelings rather than facts? A ban on Christian expressions of faith? Mandatory "tolerance" for homosexual lifestyles?
To conform young minds to the vision of global solidarity, pluralism must replace God's unchanging Truth. So seventh grade World History text books promote Islam and demean Christianity. Social Studies are used to "normalize homosexuality."[6] And propaganda for "social justice" seems more acceptable than loyalty to our sovereign God -- even in churches! [7] As God warned us long ago,
"...when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them... when your heart is lifted up and you forget the Lord your God. ... Then it shall be, if you by any means forget the Lord your God, and follow other gods... you shall surely perish." Deuteronomy 8:12-14, 17-19
But few heed such warnings in these times of cultural "Christianity." No wonder we are losing the God-given freedom that helped make America a strong and moral nation. ...
----
By His wonderful grace alone,
Berit
www.crossroad.to
Sunday, June 12, 2011
LTW to the Smokies
Lighting the Way to the Smokies Update: June 11, 2011By Claudette Litz, outreach leader
Today I experienced God at work as He brought many people over to the LTW table at the Sugarlands Visitor Center. I arrived at 9:00 A.M. to find the perfect place to park. It was close to my assigned spot to set up for ministry, so carrying the materials from the car was very easy. I am in a different location than where I have set up for the last two years. I am off to the right side of the main building, have a bench on which to sit, and a tree behind me for shade. It was a beautiful day and many tourists were in this area due to the increase of fireflies (lightning bugs) in the mountains at this time of the year.
As several people passed by the table, they expressed words of appreciation for the outreach. One couple came over to see if they could get me some water. Jesse had been in Iraq serving our country until he had cancer in 2006. He is now preparing to be a chaplain in hospitals and hospice centers to share his testimony about how he is cancer free, despite the doctors’ predictions. He prayed for me as we stood on the sidewalk, and I promised to pray for him and his wife, who is a nurse. Another man, Wayne Gibson, came and asked me to pray for him. Next week he is having a very serious neck surgery due to impaired nerves. We prayed for his brother, Mitchell, also. He is a truck driver who gives CDs of sermons to other truckers and people he meets on his routes. I gave Wayne a copy of all of the sermons on the table to reproduce for his brother to use in his ministry. Please, remember to pray for Wayne next Thursday, June 16, which is the date of his surgery.
Two ladies said they did not know Jesus as their personal Savior. I gave Candace the Gospel of John and every tract and booklet on the table, which dealt with salvation. When she approached the table, I saw her standing patiently waiting for the people at the table to leave, and I invited her join in with the group. She told me she needed to be saved and would read the materials and make her decision later. Another lady associated being saved with going to church, which she did not do. After a brief discussion about having a relationship with Jesus vs. church membership, she only took the materials that had to do with heaven. Her husband had died recently, and I am praying that God will draw her to Himself through each booklet and tract she took.
A family from Mexico had only one family member who spoke English. They were so happy to have a Bible written in Spanish; an audio CD in Spanish, “Words of Life;” a children’s book in Spanish; a book by Lester Fleenor, God Almighty in Spanish; and some Child Evangelism tracts in Spanish. I watched them read their materials as they walked to their car. Another family who were Arabic passed the table. I offered the father a book and tract in the Arabic language. After reading the back of each one, he did not want them, because they were about Jesus. His wife and children were dressed traditionally, and the children were very friendly and beautiful.
One little six-year-old boy, Jackson, was amazing in his knowledge of Jesus. He is the leader of his back yard Bible club and wanted a copy of all of the Child Evangelism materials to teach to his friends. When I mentioned how proud I was of him and encouraged him to always live for Jesus, he said, “You bet ya!”
Another family came by who were from Korea. Only two of their members spoke English. They had recently moved to Chicago to live and were vacationing in this area. The young lady of the family, whose name in English is Tina, took Dwayna’s business card, because she wants to communicate with her about becoming a missionary. The older family members repeatedly bowed to me as they chose something from the table as their gift. Tina and I prayed together. Each of them wanted their picture made with me and were very appreciative and kind.
Some teenagers came over and asked for Bibles. They seemed so happy to have them and kept thanking me and saying that I was a good lady. They took other materials, too, and seemed genuinely eager to choose the right gifts from the table in order to learn more about Jesus.
I started packing the materials and taking them to the car around 3:00 P.M. Not long after arriving home, a storm came with much wind and some rain. God’s work was continuing, as He showed His handiwork in another way. He is so good all of the time!
Testimony from Ex-Lesbian
The Thorn of Lesbianism - from an Ex-Lesbian
I have been pondering on what lesbianism is all about. My same sex desires stemmed from seeking someone to nurse my woundedness and to reciprocate this caretaking to that same someone. Each of my relationships boiled down to enabling each other’s victimization on some level. I was undeveloped emotionally trapped by hidden or not so hidden bitterness and anger. I embraced a victim mentality.
I was not whole, but fractured. No, it wasn’t my fault that I was wounded. This is the human condition due to the Fall. But more specifically, because everyone is bent toward selfishness, pain and suffering come naturally. But God calls me to move out of my woundedness and into wholeness. Even though it was not my fault I was wounded, I am held accountable in how I respond to my pain.
Rather than “growing up” emotionally and being responsible regarding the issues of my heart, I sought to nurse these damaged emotions wanting another safe person to placate me.
The truth is… even though I performed as a Christian, I was angry at God. I was bitter toward my family. I distrusted men. I was ungrateful and blamed everyone else. I had a rebellious spirit. I wanted someone to take care of me. I was looking to be enabled. I didn’t want to grow up and be emotionally responsible. When I was with my partners, I sucked the life right out of them. I needed them.
In addition to my same sex relationships, I also experienced a secret fantasy life, a secret longing. This longing or dreaming of being with this certain special someone is a safe place even though it may never happen. It is about holding out hope or secret desire of being safe and taken care of – in the arms of a certain safe woman.
My focus on meeting my insatiable longing took time away from me focusing on the areas of my life that I refused to deal with – or didn’t want to face --- basically – not wanting to be responsible. I wanted someone else to take care of me.
God calls this idolatry. He is correct when He states in Jeremiah 2:13 that His people forsake Him the Living Waters and dig their own wells.
Hurt feelings, bitterness toward God and others, victim mentality, self pity, fear of being alone – all of this led to my secret fantasy inappropriate desires.
Yet, Jesus came to find me in my wilderness. “Which man of you having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing… for I have found my sheep which was lost,” Luke 15:4 & 5. “For thus saith the Lord God, „Behold, I, even I will both search My sheep, and seek them out…I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick…,” Ezekiel 34:11-16.
Even though I turned from Him and rejected Him, He pursued me.
Romans 2:4 says that His goodness is what leads us to repentance. Titus 3:4 says that His kindness and love appeared toward man.
Broken, I understood my guilt and my unrighteousness. God Himself died for me, in my state of depravity. He knew that my actions, my walls, and that my inability to love would cause great harm to other people in my life. But He took my guilt, my shame, my thorns – my unrighteousness and put it upon Himself and died, buried and rose again victorious. As I surrendered my life, and identified with His sufferings, His death, burial and resurrection, I too became victorious. As I crucified my flesh, I received His life, His righteousness. His work on earth redeemed my soul. He rescued me. And now He calls me to walk in His righteousness. Surrendered to His will and refreshed in the Spirit, I can be like Him; full of mercy and truth.
God wants me to be honest with myself, Him and others. He demands forgiveness having no tolerance for bitterness and pride.
“For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil,” Ecclesiastes 12:14. (Hebrews 4:13)
It was time for me to grow up. It was time to repent of my inappropriate longings and secret fantasy life because He sees. It was time to face God and His expectations and seek His mercy and truth and forgiveness for my own bitterness and ungratefulness. It was time to seek His purpose for my life. It was time to face my world head on and push through the hard stuff, surrendering to God, knowing He will give me the grace and strength to persevere regardless of the circumstances. It was time to be emotionally responsible.
Like David in Psalm 51, I desire a clean and contrite heart before God.
God’s standard:
I am to confront others and hold them accountable for how their actions affect me. I am to forgive them and let go of all bitterness. “Take heed to yourselves, if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, "I repent," thou shalt forgive him.” Luke 17:1-4 See Matthew 5:22 & 23.
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” Matthew 6:14 & 15.
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ‟s sake hath forgiven you,” Ephesians 4:31 & 32.
Jesus said regarding those who brutally murdered Him, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” Luke 23:34. Peter wrote that when Jesus was reviled, He did not revile in return. He did not threaten when He suffered. He committed Himself to Him that judges righteously, I Peter 2:23.
I made a mess of my life until He rescued me. He confronted me in His Word and through His godly people. Reading and studying His Word renews my mind! I am complete and whole in Christ. I am so thankful to God for truth. I am so sorry for how my victim mentality held me captive for so many years.
Over and over again, I see consistent themes in the women struggling with same sex attraction who are seeking healing. Many have deep woundedness looking for someone to nurture them. Many are angry, bitter and resentful. A secret fantasy life plagues most. Many have an outward appearance of doing well, and have surrendered some parts of their life to God, but yet, there are areas of the heart that are not surrendered. I see clearly that when a person suffers from same sex longing, there is some other area of their life that the person is refusing to deal with – or doesn’t want to face.
Support groups and self help groups were very helpful to me for a season. I also know many people have been greatly helped by AA. However, there is a danger in getting stuck in these groups. One attending can fool themselves with the thought, “I am doing something about my issues” even though they never really address their hidden sin. The group can be a crutch, an idol and be more about are about feeling better, camaraderie, and staying in one’s stuff.
The answer lies in the Word of God. Romans tells us that the Word is what renews our mind. It is heavy duty. It calls us to be responsible – to forgive, to be tenderhearted, to love unconditionally, to surrender ALL. This includes the anger, bitterness, rage and fear. God’s mercy is powerful, drawing us to Himself. But God is not just about mercy. He is just and has standards. He is truth. It is facing His truth and the truth about our life, our wounds, our actions, our responsibilities that brings us into reality. Surrendering to His truth, not ours, is what sets us free.
Sometimes, godly people come along side and tell us the truth. Proverbs tells us over and over again that a wise person listens to rebuke and wisdom, but a fool shuts his ears.
We know we are on the right path when we allow the Holy Spirit to unravel previous beliefs, dismantle Satan’s lies and then lead us into all truth (John 16:13).
No matter what our addiction or fleshly lust is, the answer is the same. Woundedness and sin is the human condition. Jesus came to save us from the lies of bondage and the darkness of false reality; our sin. The narrow way is to embrace His love, surrender to His truth, die to self and live selflessly in Him.
There are many resources that can help you continue your search for healing and growth. The greatest tool for understanding life is the Bible. Other helpful resources include the book, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers, Silent Pain, by Kathy Olsen, and the movie, Reconciliation (www.reconciliationmovie.com).
God is sovereign and it takes time to understand the answers to all of our hard questions. This process is explained by the verses, “Work out your OWN salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you, both to will, and to do, of His good pleasure,” Philippians 2:12 & 13.
Each of us is responsible to wrestle with God. But those who seek Him will find Him. “And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart,” Jeremiah 29:13.
God bless your search for truth.
I have been pondering on what lesbianism is all about. My same sex desires stemmed from seeking someone to nurse my woundedness and to reciprocate this caretaking to that same someone. Each of my relationships boiled down to enabling each other’s victimization on some level. I was undeveloped emotionally trapped by hidden or not so hidden bitterness and anger. I embraced a victim mentality.
I was not whole, but fractured. No, it wasn’t my fault that I was wounded. This is the human condition due to the Fall. But more specifically, because everyone is bent toward selfishness, pain and suffering come naturally. But God calls me to move out of my woundedness and into wholeness. Even though it was not my fault I was wounded, I am held accountable in how I respond to my pain.
Rather than “growing up” emotionally and being responsible regarding the issues of my heart, I sought to nurse these damaged emotions wanting another safe person to placate me.
The truth is… even though I performed as a Christian, I was angry at God. I was bitter toward my family. I distrusted men. I was ungrateful and blamed everyone else. I had a rebellious spirit. I wanted someone to take care of me. I was looking to be enabled. I didn’t want to grow up and be emotionally responsible. When I was with my partners, I sucked the life right out of them. I needed them.
In addition to my same sex relationships, I also experienced a secret fantasy life, a secret longing. This longing or dreaming of being with this certain special someone is a safe place even though it may never happen. It is about holding out hope or secret desire of being safe and taken care of – in the arms of a certain safe woman.
My focus on meeting my insatiable longing took time away from me focusing on the areas of my life that I refused to deal with – or didn’t want to face --- basically – not wanting to be responsible. I wanted someone else to take care of me.
God calls this idolatry. He is correct when He states in Jeremiah 2:13 that His people forsake Him the Living Waters and dig their own wells.
Hurt feelings, bitterness toward God and others, victim mentality, self pity, fear of being alone – all of this led to my secret fantasy inappropriate desires.
Yet, Jesus came to find me in my wilderness. “Which man of you having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing… for I have found my sheep which was lost,” Luke 15:4 & 5. “For thus saith the Lord God, „Behold, I, even I will both search My sheep, and seek them out…I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick…,” Ezekiel 34:11-16.
Even though I turned from Him and rejected Him, He pursued me.
Romans 2:4 says that His goodness is what leads us to repentance. Titus 3:4 says that His kindness and love appeared toward man.
Broken, I understood my guilt and my unrighteousness. God Himself died for me, in my state of depravity. He knew that my actions, my walls, and that my inability to love would cause great harm to other people in my life. But He took my guilt, my shame, my thorns – my unrighteousness and put it upon Himself and died, buried and rose again victorious. As I surrendered my life, and identified with His sufferings, His death, burial and resurrection, I too became victorious. As I crucified my flesh, I received His life, His righteousness. His work on earth redeemed my soul. He rescued me. And now He calls me to walk in His righteousness. Surrendered to His will and refreshed in the Spirit, I can be like Him; full of mercy and truth.
God wants me to be honest with myself, Him and others. He demands forgiveness having no tolerance for bitterness and pride.
“For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil,” Ecclesiastes 12:14. (Hebrews 4:13)
It was time for me to grow up. It was time to repent of my inappropriate longings and secret fantasy life because He sees. It was time to face God and His expectations and seek His mercy and truth and forgiveness for my own bitterness and ungratefulness. It was time to seek His purpose for my life. It was time to face my world head on and push through the hard stuff, surrendering to God, knowing He will give me the grace and strength to persevere regardless of the circumstances. It was time to be emotionally responsible.
Like David in Psalm 51, I desire a clean and contrite heart before God.
God’s standard:
I am to confront others and hold them accountable for how their actions affect me. I am to forgive them and let go of all bitterness. “Take heed to yourselves, if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, "I repent," thou shalt forgive him.” Luke 17:1-4 See Matthew 5:22 & 23.
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” Matthew 6:14 & 15.
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ‟s sake hath forgiven you,” Ephesians 4:31 & 32.
Jesus said regarding those who brutally murdered Him, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” Luke 23:34. Peter wrote that when Jesus was reviled, He did not revile in return. He did not threaten when He suffered. He committed Himself to Him that judges righteously, I Peter 2:23.
I made a mess of my life until He rescued me. He confronted me in His Word and through His godly people. Reading and studying His Word renews my mind! I am complete and whole in Christ. I am so thankful to God for truth. I am so sorry for how my victim mentality held me captive for so many years.
Over and over again, I see consistent themes in the women struggling with same sex attraction who are seeking healing. Many have deep woundedness looking for someone to nurture them. Many are angry, bitter and resentful. A secret fantasy life plagues most. Many have an outward appearance of doing well, and have surrendered some parts of their life to God, but yet, there are areas of the heart that are not surrendered. I see clearly that when a person suffers from same sex longing, there is some other area of their life that the person is refusing to deal with – or doesn’t want to face.
Support groups and self help groups were very helpful to me for a season. I also know many people have been greatly helped by AA. However, there is a danger in getting stuck in these groups. One attending can fool themselves with the thought, “I am doing something about my issues” even though they never really address their hidden sin. The group can be a crutch, an idol and be more about are about feeling better, camaraderie, and staying in one’s stuff.
The answer lies in the Word of God. Romans tells us that the Word is what renews our mind. It is heavy duty. It calls us to be responsible – to forgive, to be tenderhearted, to love unconditionally, to surrender ALL. This includes the anger, bitterness, rage and fear. God’s mercy is powerful, drawing us to Himself. But God is not just about mercy. He is just and has standards. He is truth. It is facing His truth and the truth about our life, our wounds, our actions, our responsibilities that brings us into reality. Surrendering to His truth, not ours, is what sets us free.
Sometimes, godly people come along side and tell us the truth. Proverbs tells us over and over again that a wise person listens to rebuke and wisdom, but a fool shuts his ears.
We know we are on the right path when we allow the Holy Spirit to unravel previous beliefs, dismantle Satan’s lies and then lead us into all truth (John 16:13).
No matter what our addiction or fleshly lust is, the answer is the same. Woundedness and sin is the human condition. Jesus came to save us from the lies of bondage and the darkness of false reality; our sin. The narrow way is to embrace His love, surrender to His truth, die to self and live selflessly in Him.
There are many resources that can help you continue your search for healing and growth. The greatest tool for understanding life is the Bible. Other helpful resources include the book, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers, Silent Pain, by Kathy Olsen, and the movie, Reconciliation (www.reconciliationmovie.com).
God is sovereign and it takes time to understand the answers to all of our hard questions. This process is explained by the verses, “Work out your OWN salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you, both to will, and to do, of His good pleasure,” Philippians 2:12 & 13.
Each of us is responsible to wrestle with God. But those who seek Him will find Him. “And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart,” Jeremiah 29:13.
God bless your search for truth.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Gay Pride Weekend
The team set up our "Heart for Him" outreach table at the Gay Pride weekend in LA. (See photos of our ministry in action below this post.) Here are pictures of the environment and various advertising booths.
NBC news was there with their van beside the AIDS testing.
"Hate is not Christian" was the message of the pro-gay Methodist Church's booth. (That is a very true message. We are nothing without love, as explained in 1 Corinthians 13, but just because we love people does not mean that it is "Christian" to love sin. )
Booth of the local Lutheran Church celebrating "gay pride"
How can such a dangerous lifestyle be "gay", requiring the "hep team"?
NBC news was there with their van beside the AIDS testing.
"Hate is not Christian" was the message of the pro-gay Methodist Church's booth. (That is a very true message. We are nothing without love, as explained in 1 Corinthians 13, but just because we love people does not mean that it is "Christian" to love sin. )
Booth of the local Lutheran Church celebrating "gay pride"
How can such a dangerous lifestyle be "gay", requiring the "hep team"?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
